I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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