Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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