i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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