I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
