Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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