there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
