didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
