I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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