Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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