ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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