Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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