I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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