I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
