I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she smelled like a LAN party
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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