I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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