my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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