Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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