So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
