I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
