its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
