I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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