How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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