You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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