I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
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I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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