we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
