I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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