grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
