i permit you to call me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
