fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
