what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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