I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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