we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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