This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
