chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
