You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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