My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
