Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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