Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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