i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
