We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
