My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize