fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
