I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
