i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
