WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My vagina is very pro this idea
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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