I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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