You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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