Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize