i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
