we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
