didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
