You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
