I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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