Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
