What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
