you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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