Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
