Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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