I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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