areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
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Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine