After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
