she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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