Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
