Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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