I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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