I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
