yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
